Thursday, February 02, 2006

Living for the future

We all do it. You know the sayings. “When I get that new job…,” or “Just as soon as I get a pay raise…” I have a few of my own “Things will be better just as soon as I’m out of this stupid Spanish class,” and “If I just had my own space!” My personal favorite so far “If I just didn’t have to sit in the closet to: A) Have a private phone call B) Steal the neighbors Internet C) Get away from my roommate-- then things would be better. I want my own place!”

How can I learn to appreciate the here and now? How can you all out in cyberspace learn to live for the moment? I spent this past weekend worried about a test. Then I spent the week upset about the same test. Now, in retrospect I’m kicking myself for the wasted time. The one time this week when I put everything aside and just enjoyed myself was at the GUS basketball game. Boy, did it feel great!

I’m not quite sure how to live in the here and now, because, frankly, sometimes the here and now just isn’t that great. Life comes in cycles, at least that’s how I see it, and people just keep moving forward. The one thing Scott has taught me recently is to keep a positive outlook. Unfortunately, I’ve been a little black rain cloud.

Does it really matter that I’m sitting in a closet that isn’t really my closet just so I can have a little time to myself? Not really, not in the long run. In fact this is probably the only time I’ll ever have the chance to sit in a closet and write. I’ve just made another college student memory.

I may still get down sometimes or have a rough day, but I’m going to do my best to remain positive. I’m going to try to enjoy life as it comes. I just don’t want to regret my life and my choices because I was to busy being a little black rain cloud.